May 7, 2020

Once Upon a Time

This week my husband and I celebrate our 15th/3rd anniversary. To kickstart this post, let’s take a little walk down memory lane...

Once upon a time, a strapping young man who was three Mike's Hard Cranberry beverages to the wind was dressed in a cow costume to introduce himself to the newbies on his college dorm floor. We'll call him, "Jeff" because that was, in fact, his name.

Little did he know, as he knocked on an unwitting young coed's door, he was about to be figuratively knocked off of his flimsy polyester hooves...Inside that room sat a popcorn-eating girl we'll call "Kathryn" because, that also, was, in fact, her name. She hobbled to the door because she was donning a cast on her leg after breaking her ankle wakeboarding. After their introduction and discovery that Jeff also loved wakeboarding, their connection began. Jeff walked away thinking about the girl in the pink cast, and Kathryn crutched away thinking about the size of Jeff's fake udders.

The two remained friends and practical jokers throughout that school year and didn't begin dating until its end when a wakeboarding trip to Lake Nacimiento sealed their fate. Jeff inspired Kathryn with his boating skills and Kathryn impressed Jeff with her fast metabolism and impeccable pizza-eating abilities. Shortly thereafter, Kathryn started working with Jeff at Lake Berryessa for the summer and then, Kathryn left for a year abroad in Spain and they decided to end it...

Fret not, dear reader! Things turned out fine! The couple stayed in contact and picked up right where they left off upon Kathryn's return. The years to follow, they graduated and moved around a bit, finally settling down in San Jose, CA to start their careers. It was also during this time that Jeff and Kathryn realized that the job market was the equivalent of a cat turd, so they got together with two of their friends and founded their first business.

The challenges and successes of owning a business brought Jeff and Kathryn even closer together. Mutual respect and admiration, paired with hard work and a good sense of humor proved to be their keys to success in both their professional and personal relationship.

Over the years, the couple experienced many ups and downs–the death of a parent, the purchase of their first home, the heartbreak of infertility, a second business venture focused on personal passions and massive dreams. Much fun was had and many lessons were learned as they transitioned from college party animals to functioning adults, always eager to live fully and enjoy the journey.

And now, back to May of 2020 and writing in the first person.

When I was writing this, I spent some time reflecting on the last fifteen years and I was filled with such immense gratitude for all of the experiences that we’ve shared. I appreciate the good times just as much as challenging because those were the moments that led us to grow the most.

It’s no secret that I wholeheartedly believe that gratitude and growth are the keys to a joyful life. Sometimes that growth comes in ways that we try to resist because it presents itself through shitty situations that suck ballsack. My goal, as I learn my way through life and this long-ass relationship, is to reduce the time it takes for me to truly appreciate the challenges, allowing myself to see the beauty in each moment before it’s too late.

I don’t want to wait until I’m a crusty geezer in a rocking chair to look back on my life and finally see why the hardships were actually incredible gifts from life that I didn’t think I wanted, yet desperately needed.

Throughout our relationship, Jeff has taught me so much. I’m not just talking about how to code or how to do a backroll on a wakeboard, but as cheesy as it sounds, he taught me how to love. He taught me how to love in a way that I was always lacking.

He led me to realize that there are strength and beauty in vulnerability. Because when a person truly removes the walls that they’ve held up so tightly and loves with 100% intention, it transforms. I’m eternally grateful for his patience and that he set the example. It made me a better person.

My matrimonial mission for the years to come is simple–growth, gratitude, and wholehearted love. This will require an insane amount of resilience, compassion, and humor because as we learn, we are guaranteed to stumble and fall. There will be shit-fits. There will be hurt and anger. But there will also be the undeniable magic of two people showing up as authentically as they can and participating full out. As long as we continue to get back up and try again, we’ll be able to take on life together...and have a damn good time.