February 24, 2021

The Life-changing Magic of Being Openhearted

We were sitting cross-legged in the long, narrow wooden boat, water occasionally splashing over the sides. We motored past Burmese fishermen balancing on one leg as they cast their large cone-shaped nets into the water. It was our last day on Inle Lake and for our final ride, our boat driver had his wife, Mel Soe Soe, and young son on-board as well. We didn’t speak Burmese and they didn’t speak English, so it was a quiet but surprisingly comfortable ride.

Through gestures and smiles, Mel Soe Soe asked if my friend, Amber, and I would like to join her family for lunch before we left. We nodded our heads in agreement and off we went for one last adventure on the lake.

Their home was modest yet welcoming and was perched upon stilts about two feet above the water. Three playful cats greeted us as we arrived, confidently jumping from the open-air window into the bow of the boat. Their baby expertly crawled up the narrow steps, avoiding the unguarded drop to the water below, while Amber and I cautiously walked along the two-foot plank leading up the front door.

We were invited to sit on the floor and offered tea, appetizers, and a roll of toilet paper to use as a napkin. A friend of theirs arrived shortly after with a bag of some colorful vegetables in-hand and she and Mel Soe Soe efficiently began putting together an authentic Burmese lunch. The kitchen was located out back of the two-room shack, connected by wood planks, almost like something from Water World. They cooked over a small wood-fire stove, the cats getting playfully swatted away by the women as they worked.

The lunch was incredible–multiple dishes of colorful foods we couldn’t pronounce, yet all equally delicious. Throughout our meal, we communicated by gestures and it was a surprisingly fun conversation. Soon enough our waistbands were on the verge of tearing after so many offers for seconds (and thirds, and fourths) and it was clear that this impromptu feast would be one of the highlights of our trip. By choosing to be openhearted and saying yes to the moment, we learned that hospitality and gratitude were universal languages (and that Mel Soe Soe was an amazing cook).

Being openhearted comes naturally to most of us when we travel. We are more aware of our surroundings and are eager to engage in whatever is happening in the moment at hand. Random conversations with strangers are pursued instead of avoided. We notice the differences in daily life with appreciation, either for what we are currently experiencing or what we are lucky enough to take for granted back home. We see challenges as opportunities for improvisation and humor.

When we are openhearted, we are fully present and participating in life. We are turning down the volume of our minds and instead choosing to listen with our hearts. It may seem illogical at times, but by trusting the heart we are giving it the chance to guide us on our path. Oftentimes, this journey is much different than what we would have planned for ourselves but it always leads us exactly to where we need to be.

The other day I was at the grocery store and as I was waiting in line I decided to just look around me instead of scrolling my phone. An older woman was in front of me was doing the same so we got to talking. It wasn’t about anything in particular at first–weather, the pandemic, grocery store lines–but then it went a little deeper and we started to chat about the good that came to us out of such an unprecedented year. By the time she started placing her broccoli and milk on the conveyor belt, we were both feeling joy for the hidden gifts of 2020. Sometimes sharing the good with others is what makes it feel real.

After so many months holed up in my socially distanced bubble, I felt recharged by the spontaneous grocery store conversation, and the rest of my day I felt light and happy. I had grown accustomed to only be openhearted on my travels and after so long without going anywhere I had forgotten what an impact it can have on me.

When we are openhearted, we create space for the magic to happen. Not the kind involving white rabbits crammed into tiny black hats. Rather, the kind of magic that takes us beyond ourselves. It may come in the form of insights gained or happiness felt and it often leads us to new experiences and relationships that transform the trajectory of our lives. Some may call it coincidence and others serendipity, but regardless of the name you give it, the effects are undeniable. It is life fully lived. It is pure acceptance and total appreciation for whatever is happening at that given time.

An openhearted mindset cultivates an authentic connection to the present moment, to other people, and to ourselves. With enough of these experiences, we can start to see that this connection is what life’s all about. It’s the act of showing up and courageously stepping into the arena instead of standing along the sidelines as a spectator. It is exhilarating and terrifying as hell, but damn, is it worth it.

With COVID surging throughout the country, it’s hard to say when we will ever get to travel again, so how can we bring an open heart into our daily life?

To start, I’m going against the stern warning of your parents...I want you to talk to strangers. Not the creepy-ass ones who painted, “Free Candy!” on the side of their windowless white vans. Rather, the people you see as you walk down the street or wait in line with at the store. It will feel awkward AF at first, but so do most new habits that go against the cultural norm. Do it anyway.

Go into the conversation with the goal of lightening up their day and getting them to smile. Don’t know what to say? Genuinely ask how they are doing. Talk about what a strange and interesting time we are living in. We are in the midst of an ongoing historical event and everyone is having a unique experience. Get to know how your fellow community member, this fellow human being, is doing. Pretend you are on a trip and are curious about the life of this stranger in front of you. Be curious and playful.

If the thought of talking to someone you don’t know makes your butt pucker in anxiety, simply smile and say hi. Be sure to smile with your eyes though or else you might just seem like a total nut job behind your mask.

Another way to be openhearted is to be aware of what is going on in real life, not just on your phone. While you’re in public resist the urge to automatically check email or watch dog videos on Instagram. Look around and observe the situation unfolding before you. Chances are it will be boring, but you may notice something. Maybe you see a person with their hands full as they approach a closed door. Do them a solid and help them out. Maybe you notice someone who seems really sad. Ask them if they are okay.

We miss so much when we distract ourselves behind our screens. By exposing ourselves to a bit of awareness we have the chance to brighten someone else’s day and spread a bit of kindness.

Move through your day actively wondering what the moment is asking of you. How can you show up even more? Whether it means accepting an invitation to do something that seems interesting yet outside of your comfort zone or feeling the urge to reach out to someone you haven’t spoken to in ages, listen to your heart, and follow your curiosity.

You’ll be amazed at where it leads you and the unintentional positive impact openheartedness leaves in its wake.